How To Win Friends and Influence People |  | Author: Dale Carnegie
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
Category: Book
List Price: $25.00
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Rating:  786 reviews
Sales Rank: 148
Media: Hardcover
Edition: Reissue
Pages: 320
Number Of Items: 1
Shipping Weight (lbs): 0.9
Dimensions (in): 8.9 x 6.2 x 1.5
ISBN: 1439167346
Dewey Decimal Number: 158.1
EAN: 9781439167342
ASIN: 1439167346
Publication Date: November 3, 2009
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Amazon.com Review
This grandfather of all people-skills books was first published in 1937. It was an overnight hit, eventually selling 15 million copies. How to Win Friends and Influence People is just as useful today as it was when it was first published, because Dale Carnegie had an understanding of human nature that will never be outdated. Financial success, Carnegie believed, is due 15 percent to professional knowledge and 85 percent to "the ability to express ideas, to assume leadership, and to arouse enthusiasm among people." He teaches these skills through underlying principles of dealing with people so that they feel important and appreciated. He also emphasizes fundamental techniques for handling people without making them feel manipulated. Carnegie says you can make someone want to do what you want them to by seeing the situation from the other person's point of view and "arousing in the other person an eager want." You learn how to make people like you, win people over to your way of thinking, and change people without causing offense or arousing resentment. For instance, "let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers," and "talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person." Carnegie illustrates his points with anecdotes of historical figures, leaders of the business world, and everyday folks. --Joan Price
Product Description
How to Win Friends and Influence People is the first, and still the finest, book of its kind. One of the best-known motivational books in history, Dale Carnegie's groundbreaking work has sold millions of copies, has been translated into almost every known written language, and has helped countless people succeed in both their business and personal lives. First published in 1937, Carnegie's advice has remained relevant for generations because he addresses timeless questions about the fine art of getting along with people: How can you make people like you instantly? How can you persuade people to agree with you? How can you speak frankly to people without giving offense? The ability to read others and successfully navigate any social situation is critically important to those who want to get a job, keep a job, or simply expand their social network. The core principles of this book, originally written as a practical, working handbook on human relations, are proven effective. Carnegie explains the fundamentals of handling people with a positive approach; how to make people like you and want to help you; how to win people to your way of thinking without conflict; and how to be the kind of leader who inspires quality work, increased productivity, and high morale. As Carnegie explains, the majority of our success in life depends on our ability to communicate and manage personal relationships effectively, whether at home or at work. How to Win Friends and Influence People will help you discover and develop the people skills you need to live well and prosper.
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Showing reviews 1-5 of 786
 Common sense advice, but beware the unwritten chapter November 7, 2005
Andrew Olivo (Oregon, United States)
185 out of 192 found this review helpful
I won't waste your time with a rundown of what "How to Win Friends and Influence People" is about. With over 400 reviews on Amazon, with over 15 million copies sold, and with a very self-explanatory title, I think you all get it. For the rare person who may not know what this book is about, here's a succinct description: in 1930s vernacular prose, Dale Carnegie explains that by appealing to the other person's highest ideals, remembering the other person's name, letting the other person do most of the talking, speaking in terms of the other person's interests, allowing the other to save face, by "throwing down a challenge," etc., you can make a friend out of just about anyone.
The advice is largely sound, but I think the reader should keep in mind the context within which this book was written. "How to Win Friends and Influence People" was written in the 1930's and intended primarily as a companion book to Dale Carnegie's classes on how to be a good salesman. In other words, these techniques work very well in the context of sales and public relations, i.e., in relationships that are not expected to be deep and/or long-lasting. I wouldn't recommend using these techniques on close personal friends. Doing so may make a person come across as a bit "plastic."
Also, there is one major point that I think needs to be remembered, but unfortunately is nowhere to be found in "How to Win Friends and Influence People." During my research of Dale Carnegie's techniques, I came across what I believe may be the only biography available about him: Dale Carnegie: The Man Who Influenced Millions by Giles Kemp and Edward Claflin. This book reveals many interesting things, such as the fact that Dale Carnegie grew up poor; he lost part of his left index finger when he was a child; he often broke many of the tenets set forth in this book, often forgetting others' names, often arguing with others, etc. But what I found most interesting was that the last chapter of "How to Win Friends" was to describe those individuals with whom none of Dale Carnegie's techniques work. In this unpublished chapter, Carnegie wrote that there were some people with whom it was impossible to get along. You either needed to divorce such people, "knock them down," or sue them in court.
Why is that chapter absent from this book, you ask? Well, Dale Carnegie was in the middle of writing this chapter when he was offered a trip to Europe, and rather than complete this last chapter he decided to take the trip. The uncompleted book was sent off to publishers, and Carnegie shipped off to Europe.
Giles Kemp and Edward Claflin say that given the optimistic tone of the rest of "How to Win Friends," the European trip was perhaps the better choice. Reconciling the the unwritten chapter with the rest of this optimistic book would've been nearly impossible, they say.
Anyway, I think that this unpublished chapter is important to keep in mind. I had to learn the hard way that the unpublished chapter is very true. There are some people with whom it is impossible to get along. When you meet up with such people, and believe me you will, don't think that you've failed the Carnegie techniques. Instead, remind yourself that you are experiencing exactly what Carnegie describes in that pragmatic, unpublished chapter. And then quickly move on to the nicer people!
Andrew Olivo
More than just getting along well with people February 4, 2004
192 out of 247 found this review helpful
I think the title of this book may be misleading in that just about everyone can get along with people, and win friends. The part of the title that most people was is the abaility to influence others especially in a way that makes them happy and willing to do what you ask.As a supervisor for a department of 50 people, I found it was easy to get people to do what I asked them becuase I was the boss. After reading How To Win Friends and Influence People, I was able to get people to do what I asked not because I was there supervisor, because they wanted to. In addition, I have always found that there are always some people (many times my supervisors) who completely lack people skills. Dale Carnegies book taugh me how to work with those people as well. I highly recommend How To Win Friends and Influence People to anyone who wants to significantly improve their people skills and especially their ability to positively influence people. Great book!
The Prototype of Today's Relationship Books July 2, 2007
J. jones (Anderson,IN)
7 out of 7 found this review helpful
I first read this book as a junior in high school. It was the most significant book, other than the Bible, that I have ever read. It transformed my life and shaped my thinking as no other book has. I remember reading it and marking it and highlighting it until it was so tattered and dog-eared, that I had to buy a replacement.Carnegie's down-to-earth, conversational tone is so inviting that you almost feel as if he were in the room with you. It was then that I discovered the magic of internalizing Carnegie's timeless principles. People started treating me special, like I was important, girls started paying attention to me,( I wasn't very attractive), and people much older than me began pouring their hearts out to me, even asking for advice. Children thought I was some sort of pied piper. I was astounded by all of this attention because I had always been an introverted boy with various inferiority complexes.It was new and strange and wonderful to be able to make friends, speak up, be heard, and influence people.
Carnegie's book is broken up into four parts, basic techniques for handling people, six ways to make people like you,(chapter six is my favorite.),how to win people to your way of thinking, and being a leader. Each part contains a list of all the principles that comprise each chapter. These lists, called, In a Nutshell, are at the end of each part.
Before you begin reading How to Win Friends, you will want to read the nine suggestions for getting the most out of it. It really does help to do everything Mr. Carnegie suggests. Before long, you will feel the difference in how you interact with people, and how they respond to you, in business, family, or social dealings.
I give the highest recommendation for this book, which is the prototype of all relationship books of its kind.
Still a winner. A must to develop people skills February 2, 2004
146 out of 194 found this review helpful
Dale Carnegie felt that success was only 15% ability and 85% on how you were able to communicate. How effectively we communicate dictates how effective we are in life.How To Win Friends and Influence People is a must read for anyone who wants to achieve success.
"Doing unto others as you would have others do unto you" December 20, 2004
Sheki Le Mon (Swe, Gothenburg)
18 out of 22 found this review helpful
"How to Win Friends, and Influence people", written more than 50 years ago, has established it self as the classic book on how to get along with people, make people like you, how to get your ideas across without friction and how to change peoples behaviour and attitude effectively. The author Dale Carnegie, spent the greater proportion of his life refining and bettering his courses on Interpersonal Relations, this book was the first book ever written on the subject, and it sprung from many years of research and practical tests of principles which successful men and women use and had used in interpersonal relations through history to their advantage.
The book is organized in four parts, namely:
Fundamental Techniques in Handling People:
- Don't criticize, condemn or complain.
- Give honest and sincere appreciation.
- Arouse in the other person an eager want.
Six Ways to Make People Like You:
- Become genuinely interested in other people.
- Smile.
- Remember that a persons name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
- Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
- Talk in terms of the other person's interests.
- Make the other person feel important, and do it sincerely.
How to Win People to Your Way of Thinking:
- The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
- Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say, "You are Wrong."
- If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
- Begin in a friendly way.
- Get the other person saying "yes, yes" immediately.
- Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
- Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
- Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view.
- Be sympathetic with the other person's ideas and desires.
- Appeal to the nobler motives.
- Dramatize your ideas.
- Throw down a challenge.
Be a leader: How to Change People Without Giving Offense or Arousing Resentment
- Begin with praise and honest appreciation
- Call attention to people's mistakes indirectly
- Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person
- Ask questions instead of giving direct orders
- Let the other person save face
- Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be "Hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise."
- Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
- Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
- Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.
Every principle is backed up by stories and examples of famous people, great leaders and the author himself showing how the principle in question was used to their advantage, and also showing the negative consequences of situations where the principles were neglected. The author writes in probably the same manner as he spoke, in an intensively exuberant, colloquial, conversational manner.
I regard this book to be on of the most important I have ever read regarding Interpersonal Relations, and as the author states in the beginning chapter "15 percent of one's financial success is due to one's technical knowledge and about 85 percent is due to skill in human engineering, to personality and the ability to lead people.". Personally I think the figures are much higher than that, but in either case this book can change ones life immensely to the better if used and applied. I encourage everybody regardless of their current situation to read this book, if they have not already, and if they have to read it again.
It is truly a classic worth reading!
Showing reviews 1-5 of 786
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